No need for that

Today I met up with Juan, a guy that I had dated last year. When he walked in the door of my cafe I became flustered and nervous. Why?? Good question. As time has continued here the realization that I do not want to date this guy or guys like Juan has become more and more cemented in my mind. There is still something though that attracts me to him, actually I can name a few (exotically Venezuelan for one ;-). I have been upset that we havent been able to be friends, because we share an intimate connection and passion for many things. Our shared dinner tonight though has helped me realize that I do not think a friendship is worth pursing. The feeling I have when I walk away from an encounter with him lately has not been positive. I can pinpoint many things that make me feel that way but I dont think is fair to him to share. Also the fact that I still become weak kneed when he is around (he tends to knowingly have that effect on many women) is a sure sign that I should stay away. I thought that I was strong enough in decision that this guy was not right for me to be over those feelings, but alas the heart has a strong hold over the head sometimes. So, why am I spilling these personal details of my heart, well I guess I need to reinforce this process f saying goodbye. Now it is not the saying goodbye of a boyfriend, but the saying goodbye of a friend, in many ways more difficult. So adios mi amigo, tal vez un dia en el futuro podemos ser amigos, pero por ahora estoy contenta sin su compania.